I thought your voice would wear out
From the rough growling of resentment
As my tears ran raw through the night.
I sought shelter behind a locked door
And under sheets scented with sweetness
Of you-
Just this morning I laid in this same well,
Wondered at the twitching of your upper lip,
The exact number of your eyelashes amid snores.
You were calm in your young skin as you woke lazily,
Twirled a finger through my curl, smiled sweetly.
I placed a kiss on your brow, hopping up
For the routine of coffee and kitchen dancing.
-a memory forgotten in the moment
For the booming of your fists shaking the frame
Of my bones, the frame of particle board
cracking
With the image of my lover bursting
In with doorknobs flying and splinters
Of you stuck under my skin, festering.
I recoiled, searching for my mother in pillows
But they did not save me.
And you’ll say you never hit me, but the threat
Of the masculine charading as sanctuary
Lit in me only: run.
The smell of tequila hot breath still makes me flinch.
And yet I am the wrongdoer for seeking shelter
In the words of another
who never touched me- the same moral pillar
On which you’ll hold yourself
To justify my damnation to any open ears.
Your mouth has always been open
But my eyes finally are
As I watch the door of the home you crumbled
Close one last blessed time.